Betrayed

Some things that a very close friend told me some time ago came back to bite me in the ass. I was horribly lied to by one of the last people that I never thought would. It would be almost comical if it wasn't so damned horrible.

I went through stages. At first I was fine. I actually felt that it didn't bother me. Then I went through sadness. And J knew that I would. He just waited for me to come around. Thank you for holding me in the darkness, wiping my tears, telling me that you would be whatever I needed you to be.

This morning I felt anger. Not as much as I would have liked. But it was there. I trusted them and what they said to me. It was something so important to me but they used me and I hate it. That betrayal even made me look at J for a moment to see if he was being sincere in the things he says but that's ridiculous. He won't do that to me. He won't lie to me. I truly believe that. He stays with me through all the stupid stuff I put him through because he believes I am worth it in the end. That means so much to me. I just hate that being lied to makes me look at others to see if they would do the same, making me jaded. Guess when you think you know somebody, you don't. One less friend in my life....does it really matter?

Thank you for being there for me. I needed you last night more than ever and there you were, every step of the way, even when I insisted I didn't need you. I might need you more in the future, just don't go anywhere....I really think I'm going to need you.