My Computer is Superfast!

So J got my new computer going yesterday. Holy Crap it's fast!!!!! I didn't know how crappy my machine was at the time but now I do. Well it probably wasn't bad when I first got it but it was really time for an upgrade. So it's all thanks to J. He really is a super genius.

But I'm sad too. Because J is leaving this weekend to go visit his kids. I know we will miss each other terribly and think of each other all the time but it's not the same. I'ts hard enough getting out of bed to go to work, but now we have to go the whole weekend. Waking up definitely won't be the same.

It's Enough To Make Me Not Want To Be A Hero

So I watched the season opener of Heroes. And true to Heroes form, it left me with more questions than answers (even though I did receive some answers). I was lucky enough not to have anybody spoil it for me. Seeing all the drama that people with super powers go through, it makes me think twice about having super powers. I think I'll just stay a normal person, thank you very much.

This show draws me in (which is what it's supposed to do) and it definitely has me wanting more. I love that it's not your average super hero show. You think you know who is a hero, and then they turn out to be a villain or vice versa. The show is amazing and for anybody who would love a good drama/thriller/comedy/whatever, get into Heroes, you won't regret it.

And The Lights Came On

So the power came back on Saturday afternoon. It was a long, long week. I found out that I can live without power but I really don't want to. I found out that nothing is boring about lying with J for hours. And I found out that it gets really dark, really quickly.

But some exciting news. New computers are coming today! More info later!

Day 6 and I Think We Are Starting To Go Crazy

It's Day Six with no power. They said it could be up to a week. I'm trying to resolve myself to the fact that I will be in the last thousand to get power. Last night, we went to Steak 'N' Shake to get us out of the house. I think it did a little good. Nothing a Frisco Melt can't cure.

Needless to say, I've been getting a lot of reading done. I'm thankful that I can take showers at the gym but everything else either costs gas or money which I have none of atm.

But I think I forgot to talk about the fun I had at the Louisville Zoo. My work had a company picnic there and the food was sooooo good. They had face painting for the kids and those inflatable bounce things too. Alana got Scotty the baby elephant on her face and Devonna got her whole face painted like a polar bear. I think seeing the animals was kind of sad. Louisville Zoo definitely needs to give those animals some enrichment. The enclosures are so small and bare. I'm sure that they don't have a lot of room to grow as the zoo is in an urban environment but /shrug.

So this weekend will be another weekend without power. I feel kind of indifferent towards it. I hope it's different. I will let you all know.

In The Minds of Children

I came across the website of this guy that makes illustrations out of children's drawings. It's enthralling and there is no way that you can look away. I wonder if this is what children are really thinking? Who will ever know.

Living Life in the Dark

No, the title of my blog is not me philosophizing about my life or anybody else's life. I am literally living life in the dark. A wind storm knocked the power out Sunday for 275,000 people in the Louisville area. As far as I know, right now, I still have no power.

So what do you do when the power is out? You cuddle, and read. I could play board games but the cuddling is a better idea. Surprisingly, I'm not bored like you would think I would be. J keeps me thoroughly entertained. I am slightly sad because I'm missing my TV shows but then I think *shrug* That's the internet is for. But my brilliant bf helped a lot by finding some LED lights in the fixture section that nobody thought to look for. So at least I have light.

So I see truck after truck driving down the street and I hope that it's going for our place. The Ryder Cup is going on right now so I know all of the golf people have electricity. That's just how it goes sometimes. And I'm soooooo busy at work, I hardly ever have time to post. But I'll try to catch you all up on what's going on with my life eventually.

Friendships Are A Must

So as my friends know, friendships are very important to me. I get emotionally committed to someone very fast. That's just how I've always been. That leaves me open to hurt and very vulnerable, but it also allows me to have the opportunity have form wonderful friendships and relationships.

When I was younger I had five "best" friends. Even now I look back and see how that could have been possible. The definition of best doesn't even allow that. They were all really close friends at that point I suppose. Now that I'm older, a lot of those friends have moved away and we talk less and less. That happens as people get older but it's still sad. Now the person I count as my best friend is the one that I spend almost every day with.

But as I have gotten older and started to use the net, I've found another mode of friendship. I've found online friends that are just as rewarding as real life friends. When I was younger, I used to think only lonely people would be friends with people online. When I turned 18, I discovered the internet and actually made a lot of friends online. I used to be rather shy because of my stutter and making friends online seemed to be easier. Plus, I found that I could express my feelings a little better online than in real life. So I tended to hide behind the internet to express my feelings. But I digress.

I have found online friendships that have lasted years. And they have evolved to real life friendships and people have become as good a friend if not better than real life friends. I've found I can be more open and allow them to see me as I really am which helps me to be myself offline. Offline friendships turn into in person friendships (Danny and Shanna) and life partnerships (J) and life changing friendships (D). I love who I am now. My friends have helped me to realize this. I value friendships more now than I ever knew possible. So thank you to all of my friends, for helping to shape me into woh I know now.

WoW News

So I've been on World of Warcraft a lot, just having fun with my friends and J (and yes, I do have friends on World of Warcraft. A post on this is coming later.)

And I'm getting excited for Wrath of the Lich King (WoLK) and this video below made me even more excited. A rhino....for a pet...and he's huge! Hunters turn me off somewhat even though I like playing them. I think they tend to be mindless playing at lower levels. But anyway, watch and enjoy.




Hope you enjoyed it...I did. So when WoLK comes out, it's gonna be fun. Get ready for all day play!

But anyway, so this weekend was awesome for Kara (Karazahn). If you don't know what Kara is, it's an instance in WoW. Anyway, I got my Rapscallion Boots this weekend and I have been waiting for them for a whole year....literally. AND I got enough badges for my offhand fist weapon...so I look majorly hot. Goes along perfectly with my claw. AND I'm getting some epic shoulders and bracers made. And my phoenix hatchling dropped. So cute! So I'm very happy. I love how I sound like a complete nerd. /grin I love being a geek with J. Makes it so much better.

So wow is going well and I'm happy. I realize that everybody has fun in different ways and this is mine. I'm just glad my bf does the same thing. As weird as it sounds, it's us spending time together doing things like to do. So that's my wow update.

And WoW has a soundtrack. not sure how I feel about that. I might get it, I might not. But if I really get it, how much time am I goign to spend listening to it. Not that much I would imagine.

I'm glad I finally found a guild that I really love. I finally found a guild that likes to have fun with you and not just wanting you for your class. (And yes Katie, you can join my guild ;) See you all next time.

Favorite Word

Adore.

i.e. When J tells me that he adores that I forget a lot of things (I do! I forget EVERYTHING!) or that he adores that I stutter. It just hits so much harder than like or even love.

Sarah Palin Makes Me Roll My Eyes

I have to be honest and tell you that I didn't listen to the entire Sarah Palin speech. The parts that I did hear made me shudder. She sounds like someone who wants to rewire the brains of every American. I did hear the sound bytes which pretty much sum up the speech I'm sure. Maybe I'll find the gumption to actually listen to what she has to say but the sound bytes made me angry, so I can't imagine listening to the entire speech.

I think if you read this article, it will help you to understand why I'm so angry. I didn't want to post the whole thing but you should read it.

If we let her be the vice president of our country, I worry for our future. That is all.

No Tengo Tiempo/No Quiero Sueños

I have no time. I really don't. I never thought I would see the day where I wish it had about six more hours in it. I find myself always having things that I need to do and I can barely do the things that I want to do. I definitely make time for fun but it still feels like there are not enough hours in the day.

Sometimes I wish I could just stop the earth at key moments and just get what I need to get done. I think sometimes I worry that I don't live in the moment enough. You could never know what's going to happen tomorrow or how much time you could have with somebody. I wonder if my desire for my time in the day is just an extension of this.



I think I wish I had time in all aspects of my life: past, present, and future. I look back on all the good times in the past...and I remember thinking that I wish they had lasted longer. But no time lasts forever. And it's usually the good times that fly by the fastest. I'm not sure what cruel hand of fate made that happen, but it does.

I think I'm just feeling really emotional right now. I'm not sure where it's coming from. I'm glad that I have a sense of the person I am and can be honest with myself about certain issues. That's one change in me that I adore. The things that I think aren't always pleasant, but that's the price that comes with honesty. The down and dirty thoughts as well as the wonderful ones.

All days aren't good days. I can say that much. But all days are better now that I have someone to talk to. When I'm upset, I can talk about what's bothering me and bounce ideas off of someone. That means a lot to me.

Dreams have been bothering me lately. I think one thing I can't stand about dreams is that they cannot be controlled. I've been having dreams that I wish would stop. It upsets me in the morning when I wake up. I guess a part of is glad that dreams fade after awhile because these are dreams I don't want to remember. The dreams aren't unpleasant, I just don't want to dream them.

But then I realize the dreams I'm having are natural and I shouldn't be ashamed or guilty about having them. The dreams themselves are innocent but it's the fact that they are there that is upsetting. I think I'm worried in the future that they won't be so innocent and then i would feel immensely guilty. So now, I'm afraid to dream. Heh, almost like Nightmare on Elm Street but with a different twist:

One, two, freddys coming for you
Three, four, better lock your door
Five, six, grab a crucifix
Seven, eight, gunna stay up late
Nine, ten, never sleep again.

Not exactly like that. But I'm worried that it will come to that. I think I will look for ways to have a dreamless sleep. I just want dreams to leave me alone to live my life. They have so much power and leave you feeling powerless. I hate that feeling. My only reprieve is that I have someone to share them with.

Labor Day Weekend Doesn't Disappoint

So this weekend, I didn't go out, didn't see the Worldfest, didn't go out to eat, didn't cook any new recipes, didn't see my family, and barely talked to anybody else on the phone.

It was the most perfect weekend I ever could have hoped for. Why do you say? Because J was there! (Getting to be a recurring theme isn't it?) We stayed inside all weekend and enjoyed each other. We barely popped out of the apartment for anything.

When I'm not with him, I want to be. He makes me so happy. When I'm not by his side, I miss him. I love to bury my face in his chest and breathe in deep. He smells so sweet and I can't get enough. I can't believe how utterly and completely in love I am. We have been together over a year, but yet, our love hasn't waned one bit. If anything it has grown stronger each day.

I wish I could have spent Labor Day in Atlanta with my sisters, though. I love that we have a bond that surpasses space! Kim even left an empty seat for me when they went out. I love the Crocker sisters. They are so awesome.

Now I'm looking forward to this weekend. Every weekend is becoming a perfect weekend. Ok, my rambling post with no focus is coming to an end. Hope everybody else had a fabulous weekend, whatever everybody did.